How to Seduce McGonagall
by Ninotsjka
Summary: [COMPLETED] Draco is dared by Hermione to seduce McGonagall...
1. The dare

**Screw you, Granger!**

**Or how to seduce McGonagall**

**Chapter one: The dare**

How on earth had he gotten himself in this mess? He remembered very well how this mess had begun. He had been bragging to his friends about being able to seduce and screw everything that even remotely female. And if they acted well enough… he could do males too. Precisely on the point Granger had walked by. And overheard him bragging. She proposed a dare. Being a Slytherin… a dare is something you can't refuse. So he took the challenge. Now he wished he hadn't.

"Screw you, Granger!" he yelled.   
How on earth was he going to seduce McGonagall. There was no way that he would be able to succeed without a love potion or something. Too bad they were banned. But he was in Slytherin. And Slytherins are known for a certain disregard of the rules. Maybe he could bribe Professor Snape for some piece of the action. 

There were some nice sides about the dare too. Since Weasel King had been walking next to his Mudblood girlfriend he had dared him to seduce and screw Trelawney. And he couldn't get out of it, because he had first been placed under the Imperius Curse. Granger was furious. It was rather nice to see. Who would be worse of… him or Weasel King.  

He smiled. Weasel King was worse off. Trelawney may be an old fraud but she sure would be able to see this one coming. And 

And besides Granger had also a nice dare coming. That was the next part of the plan he had been brooding. Have Granger and Snape together. It was too gross to think about. But then again so was his having to shag McGonagall. He involuntarily shivered. Maybe he had caught a cold.  

It didn't make the dare easier to accomplish however. He should've taken this dare while the stupid woman was still in St. Mungo's. But no, he had to brag after her return to Hogwarts.

Where was his father when he needed him? In Azkaban off all places. Sure he could escape at any given moment, but surely he'd write that he had done just that. Or else the Daily Prophet would have. The new Minister for Magic was more tolerant about writing about the Dark side.

The Daily Prophet didn't talk about imprisoned Death Eaters. Free roaming Death Eaters were much more interesting. Almost every day there was at least one article about his auntie Bella. It looked like she was right, that she really was the Dark Lords favourite…

Neither Bella nor his mother would be able to help him. They were women, for Merlin's sake! Not too noble women, but women non de less. 

Writing to his dad's boss probably wasn't a good idea either, even though that was the most powerful wizard alive: You-Know-Who! Another option would be to write to his father, but if he wrote to the Dark Lord he'd have a useful job for a change. He'd probably say that he needed to shag the witch to gather information. He'd be a junior spy. Junior Death Eater. His mother would get a heart attack if she even knew how close he was to becoming a Death  Eater. He could still hear her.

"Not until you are of age. Not until you've finished with school!"

Why is a good education so important to her anyway? The only thing she does with her education is make potions in order to look younger…

"Mr. Malfoy! Please explain what you are doing here…" McGonagall stood in front of him; glaring down at him. He had to think of something and he had to do it quick!


	2. Cupids song

**Chapter two: Cupids song**

"Nothing, Professor McGonagall!" He pretended to have been crying. Malfoys never cry!

"I was just sitting here… thinking," he added. As he said that it suddenly dawned upon him that this was his first opportunity to seduce the woman.

"No one loves me..." he sobbed.

"You're quite wrong, Mr. Malfoy!" McGonagall said. This gave him an idea.

"_Imperio!_" he whispered, before asking her the question?

"Do you love me then Professor?" he asked.

"Yes, Mr. Malfoy. I'll do anything you desire!" McGonagall said. 

This was going to be good. "For now you can go back to your work. But remember we'll be jumping in the sack soon!" 

"I'd love that, Mr. Malfoy!" 

~~~~~

Ah, there she was: Granger. Now was the time for Pansy and Blaise to make their move.

"Well, well, well... who have we here?" Pansy said.

"If it isn't the Granger Mudblood!" shrieked Blaise.

"We've got a challenge for you!" Blaise said.

"Ok, I'll bite!" Granger said. "What is it?"

"You have to seduce and shag Professor Snape. When you succeed before you leave Hogwarts well never call you Mudblood again. Good deal, Mudblood?" Pansy said. 

"If that's what it takes for me to get you of my back I'll do it. It's no fun seeing my boyfriend trying to seduce that hag Professor Trelawney," Hermione answered. 

She heard some sniggering coming from the Slytherin table. Malfoy. He probably knew what the girls had been wanting from her. It probably was his idea in the first place. 

"Screw you, Malfoy!" she yelled. 

"Screw you, Granger!" he replied lazily. 

'And when I'm done with this stupid dare, I'll do that too, literally!' he thought after it. But first things first: McGonagall.  

He swallowed some more breakfast. It was Potions next and after that Transfiguration. 

Snape was off course, merciless towards Weasel King and Potter. Served them right. He even found something to complain about Granger for a chance. The dare was obviously working. He wondered when he'd walk in on the two of the snogging… Ewww… horrible mental pictures! He didn't even want to see himself and McGonagall, why on earth would he want to see Granger and Snape doing that?

But then came the lesson he feared: Transfiguration. It meant that he had to face McGonagall after her forced confession of her undying love for him. Hopefully she would be reasonable. Hopefully she hadn't thrown off the curse. Which turned out to be true. They had to transfigure toads into cupids, singing love songs and all. It worked and he made the Cupid sing a special song to McGonagall:

I love you my dear Your voice is all I long to hear Lets snog ourselves senseless Until the break of dawn no less 

_Because tomorrow it'll be gone and all_

_My dear Professor McGonagall!_   

Professor McGonagall's cheeks turned red. "That's enough. _Silencio_!" 

The whole class sniggered. Malfoy smirked. He was at least one step closer to his goal: at least she let the Cupid fly round around her head.


	3. Of standards and reputations

**Chapter three: Of standards and reputations **

"Detention Malfoy!" McGonagall said. "You will stay after class to arrange the formalities about the detention.

So after the lesson Draco stayed, ushering Crabbe and Goyle out. 

"Your detention is to do exactly like the Cupid sang. So when do you purpose we'll snog ourselves senseless?" she asked.

"Tonight would be great. Could you meet me at the Prefects Bathroom?" he said. Surely there they wouldn't be interrupted…

"Sure, Mr. Malfoy!" she said.

"Mr. Malfoy is my father. Just call me Draco when we're alone…" he said.

"Ok, my darling Draco!" He couldn't believe she actually said that. 

As he walked away, he was hailed by Pansy…

"Hi, Draco!" 

"Hi!" he replied.

"What did McGonagall want?"

"She wants me to do remedial Transfiguration!" 

"You aren't that bad in Transfiguration!"

"That's all you know!" he said, walking away from her.

Other pictures drifted to his mind, horrible ones. Potter and Snape. Potter had remedial Potions since January the previous year. So Potter had been shagging Snape all that time! It certainly looked that way when he had walked in to him the previous year, after finding Montague upside down a toilet on the fourth floor. Another horrible picture. Montague snogging the toilet. When was the oaf going to snog Moaning Myrtle in her toilet! Ok, Myrtle was a ghost, but still a ghost is better than a toilet. You've go to have some standards!

But then again, what were his standards worth if he had to snog McGonagall… True she was still under his Imperius Curse. But he had to do something worse than snog her! He had to shag her. Screw you, Granger! Oh, I forgot… Professor Snape will do that!

Draco smirked. Hopefully Granger would have learned her lesson by now not to taunt him!

~~~~~

So there he was at waiting at the Prefects Bathroom. That is in front of it. When McGonagall finally came she said: "I was detained by some colleagues. Somehow they wanted to stop me from making my rounds."

"I understand!" Draco replied.

What on earth was Snape doing this high at this time of the night?

"Well, Mr. Malfoy! Professor McGonagall! What are you two doing here?" snarled Snape.

"I found Mr. Malfoy out of bounds, Severus and just wanted to take ten points from Slytherin!" McGonagall answered.

"I see," snarled Snape. "And why were you out of bounds, Mr. Malfoy? I hope you have a good explanation for it!"

He gave Draco the look he normally reserved for Potter or Lupin. 

"I was going to the bathroom, Professor!" smirked Draco. "After that I have to serve detention with Professor McGonagall here, sir!"

"Ok, then! But I don't want to see you out of bounds again Mr. Malfoy!" Snape said and walked on. 

Draco quickly opened the door to the Prefects Bathroom. And led McGonagall in. After they got in, he sealed the door every way he knew. He didn't want Snape or anyone else to come in when he was busy snogging or shagging McGonagall. It would ruin his carefully built reputation!


	4. Satisfactory detention!

**Chapter four: Satisfactory detention!**

When they were inside he pressed his mouth against McGonagall. It was better to get the thing over with as soon as possible. But he hadn't calculated that he really liked to kiss her; that she could be a good kisser! Their kisses went deeper than Draco had originally planned. Their tongues played a game. She tasted nice. He had thought she would taste like wool; instead she tasted like strawberries. 

Draco even had both of them undressed before he knew it. It wasn't his goal to fulfil the dare at that moment. But he couldn't help himself. He wanted her at that very moment. So he followed his instincts and made her. 

"Oh, Draco!" she moaned with every thrust he made. 

Draco didn't moan at first. But he soon realised that he had to. The feeling was too good. They reached their climax on exactly the same moment. They fell back to the floor, satisfied.

She was good, especially for a woman her age. He'd even liked to do it again sometimes. 

"Draco, that was magnificent!" McGonagall exclaimed. "We could this again some time!" she said. 

But how much Draco liked to say yes, he knew he couldn't. Instead he kissed her and explored her body once more. He'd liked to have a full detention's worth of satisfaction. After all he still was a Slytherin!  

~~~~~

Finally they got dressed. With a sigh he lifted the Curse he had placed on her. 

"What are you doing her, Mr. Malfoy?" she asked. 

"Serving detention, Professor!" he smirked. "_Obliviate!_" 

Her memory of that evening was erased. For a moment Professor McGonagall looked oddly blank.

"What are you doing here, Mr. Malfoy?" she asked. 

"Serving detention with you, Professor!" he smirked again. "But it seems you have fallen ill. Shall I take you to the Hospital Wing?" He was good at this. 

"No, I'll be fine, Mr. Malfoy. But you can escort me back to my room. I feel indeed rather ill."

So Draco escorted her to her room and then went back to the Slytherin Common Room.

~~~~~

There were actually people waiting for him in the Common Room. He could have known that Pansy would be there. She probably wanted to shag him too, just like McGonagall did an hour ago. Ewww, shagging Pansy. He needed to puke! He'd rather shag Blaise. But he also had to do Granger. Warm her up for Snape so to say! Let her develop a taste for Slytherins…

Pansy came to kiss him on the cheek. He hit her. She deserved it. He had just had one of the magnificent experiences of his whole life and there was that _cow_, wanting to ruin the memory!

At the moment his mind wasn't shagging any of them. It was more on the worrying thought that he found shagging McGonagall so good that he wanted second. But since the curse was lifted and he had modified her memory… Maybe he'd have to modify his own. At least then he could stop thinking about how willing her flesh had been under his hands.


	5. Something hanging in the air

**Chapter five: Something hanging in the air**

Why couldn't he get McGonagall out of his head! It wasn't as if he really loved the woman. Two months had passed since he had slept with McGonagall and all that time the memory of her touch; the willingness of her flesh haunted him. He hadn't done anyone in those months. That was definitely a first. 

McGonagall had stopped to teach classes in the morning. They had a substitute for those. Maybe she suddenly developed a cranky mood during the mornings. But somewhere in his mind he knew better. He had seen other people doing the same as her. He just couldn't remember where. It wasn't until Dumbledore summoned them all to a mutual breakfast together that he knew why it was McGonagall's condition sounded so familiar.

"Students! We'll be joined by a substitute Transfiguration teacher, Ms. Delacour!" 

The Hall applauded. The remembered Ms. Delacour as one of the four Triwizard Champions two years ago. Dumbledore silenced them.

"Professor McGonagall will teach only her afternoon classes. The joyous reason why she has to cut down her classes is because she's pregnant!" 

Draco was in shock. McGonagall pregnant! His child… Granger, Potter and Weasel King were going to have a field day when this got out. Not to mention the _Daily Prophet_ or the _Quibbler_. He could see the headlines already. 

_'16-year-old student impregnates teacher'_

Thank Merlin he put a Memory Charm on her. But too many people knew about the dare. 

When he looked towards the Gryffindor table, the annoying threesome was already watching at him. He could always tell them that he chickened out of the dare… That would be much easier than to admit he had done what he did. That Memory Charm sounded so good now. 

But there was more news the next day. It appeared that some students were also pregnant. Granger and Weaselette. He had slept with them, well not with Granger, but he had done Weaselette in the Room of Requirement just before McGonagall. He was in trouble now and he knew it. 

Hermione's dare was with Snape, but Granger had Weasel King as a boyfriend.  So was the Mudblood pregnant by Snape or Weasel King? He hoped that it was Weasel King. Lucky for Weasel King that Trelawney wasn't pregnant…

"Firenze will later in the year take over all Trelawney's classes for the same joyous reason as McGonagall!" Dumbledore said. 

It was now Weasel King's turn to look terrified. Draco smirked. He wasn't the only one to get into trouble.  

"The old fraud hadn't seen this coming, had see!" Blaise said.

"Yeah, and now I know why Potter and co are glaring at us! They are mad at us. I impregnated Weaselette and set Weasel King the dare that made the fraud pregnant. Whilst you set the dare that got the Granger Mudblood pregnant!"

"But how did McGonagall get pregnant? Was it the Mudblood's dare?" Pansy asked.

"Nah, it probably was Dumbledore, can't you see the stupid man's horny face! He has the hots for her!"

"You're right. I must be blind not to see it sooner!" Pansy said.

Yes, you are blind, you cow. You didn't even notice that I was lying!  


	6. Marriages

**Chapter six: Marriages**

The agony it was. He impregnated two women: his Transfiguration teacher and the Little Weasel. Sure, he'd marry little Weasel. But what about McGonagall… He couldn't marry her. That would be admitting he… he shagged her. And it would mean he would get expelled from school. He didn't want to be an oaf like Hagrid! 

He didn't even remember anymore, why he had bragged about being able to seduce and screw anyone he wanted to! He knew why he had taken the dare. It was his Slytherin duty to show that he was better than all those Gryffindors! Even if it meant to shag McGonagall. 

There were now other things to be considered. So he cornered the Little Weasel after breakfast. 

"Well, Ginny…" 

"Draco!" she said.

"I suppose, I have to do the right thing now. So, will you marry me? 

"On your knees, Malfoy!" 

He grumbled and lowered himself onto one knee. Why did she want to humiliate him in such a way? 

"Ginny, will you marry me?" 

"Yes!" she said.

He gave a sigh in relief as he stood up. 

"But only for the baby's sake!" she whispered in his ear before she walked away.

~~~~~

There were several marriages at Hogwarts that Christmas. Every family member of the bride or bridegrooms were set up in Hogsmeade. McGonagall would Albus Dumbledore, Trelawney married Flitwick Granger would become a Weasley at last and little Weasel became a Malfoy. 

His mother hadn't been exactly thrilled to have a Weasley as a daughter-in-law. His father had been furious. But daddy dearest was allowed out of Azkaban for the wedding. That was at least something. He hadn't told his father or his mother that he also had impregnated McGonagall, and he didn't intend to. The only way they would be able to know was if McGonagall's baby arrived and had the good looks of it's father. 

~~~~~

He didn't even plan to tell his wife. But Dumbledore had set up two marital chambers for the two married student couples. He had to share a room with her. And obviously she confronted him with the thing immediately. Threatened him with the bat-bogey hex, if he wouldn't tell her. Since she had used it on him the previous summer, he knew what that meant. And he didn't want to be on that side of her ever again… so he told her. 

"And how was it? How was it to shag McGonagall?" she asked.

"It was wonderful. She's very talented. But how was I supposed to know that she'd get pregnant. I thought she long had her menopause!"  

"Obviously not!" Ginny said. 

"I know. Goodnight!" 

He went to sleep. The last thing he was aware of was his wife lying down beside him, her arms over him, as to prevent him from walking away.

~~~~~

He thought he wouldn't be able to sleep on his wedding night. He had supposed that his wife wanted him to shag her, or that he would lay awake thinking about the trouble he was in! But he had fallen asleep like a baby. 

The next morning he noticed the room he was in for the first time. It was above ground for one. Second floor he guessed. The bed itself was another four-poster, hung with purple drapes. His wife lay cuddled up beside him, her long red hair spread out over his naked stomach. Her leg lay on top of him. Real close to his dick… 

For the first time in months he really wanted someone else than McGonagall. He wanted his wife, so he kissed her. It woke her up, and when he saw the passion in her eyes, he couldn't stop himself. He needed to love her. He needed to make love to her again. He had missed her!


	7. Babies

Chapter seven: Babies 

It was now the end of the school year. Ginny Malfoy, about nine months pregnant, had just finished her OWLs. Her baby was due any moment. So were McGonagall's, Trelawney's and Hermione's. She could have done without the fussing of Madam Pomfrey. She shouldn't stand so much. But she had to. She had to do those damn exams! Her stomach gave a lurch. It probably was nothing, but she made her way towards the Hospital Wing anyway. Before she had reached it her stomach gave another lurch and she felt her underpants being soaked. She was in labour!

At the end of his last exam that day. It had been a practical by Flitwick, an anxious, and annoying Creevey came stumbling in. He mumbled something.

"Labour, Ginny."

Ginny, my child…

"Sorry, Professor! I think I'm needed in the Hospital Wing," Draco quickly said.

"I'll come too. I want to see how my wife is doing… It are the last straws for her too, you know. She said she's expecting a girl!" 

How nice! As he reached the Hospital Wing he was just in time to support Ginny. It looked like it was going to take long, but it didn't within an hour or three she had given birth to a little baby boy with his blond hair and her brown eyes. 

"What shall we call him?" she asked.

"Troy," he said. "Troy Lucius Arthur Malfoy!" 

"Ok," she said and Madam Pomfrey wrote it down. 

"Hey, little one," Ginny spoke to their son. "Soon you'll have a cousin!" 

"Provided the child is Ron's and not Snape's…"

"I mean Trelawney…" Ginny mouthed. "But that one won't be raised as a Weasley. Hermione's will!"

"Ok, I get your point!"

At that moment Ron came in, supporting Hermione. She was obviously in a lot of pain. Labour… Ginny was given a wheelchair and Draco rolled her and Troy to her brother.

"Hello!" she said. "You can do it Hermione! I did it, and I'm younger than you are. 

Madam Pomfrey hushed forwards.

"You should've come sooner, Mrs. Weasley!" It seemed she was all ready to push. So within half an hour Troy had a cousin. Hermione had given birth to a baby girl with greasy, curly black hair! They named her Athena Molly Weasley.

~~~~~

The same day Professor Trelawney gave birth to a little baby boy with flaming red hair called Aurelius Flitwick. And McGonagall gave birth to a baby girl with auburn red hair. They named her Amelia Leonie Dumbledore.

The parents were allowed to visit each other and each showed their babies to the other couples. When Draco saw McGonagall's baby he was so ecstatic with joy that he kissed his wife quickly on the cheek! It wasn't his baby. It really was Dumbledore's baby. He had only joked when he had said to Pansy that it probably was Dumbledore! But the stupid man's horny face had told the truth! Dumbledore really had the hots for her and well since she was a cat and cats needed stimulation to get pregnant. He probably only warmed her up for him!

It was such a relief. And he made a vow to himself and to his wife later that night, never to go in on such stupid dares ever again!

**~~THE END~~**


End file.
